Using Parenting Skills to Care for Elderly Parents
This past week I was honored and privileged to care for an elderly lady with dementia. I had only met her once before and had never experienced someone going through that type of mental condition. Not only did I learn a lot about her and her life, but I also learned a great deal about myself, what I could handle over a long period of time, and how to treat others who may be struggling in this way.
There were many times when I had to “take a beat/a breath” when having to respond to the same question repeatedly within a minute’s time. I had to explain the response again and again, remind her that she had eaten breakfast, give the same explanation as to where her family was, that her husband had passed away, and that I had fed the cat, which was a life-sized stuffed toy that she believed to be real. She ‘loved on’ that cat as if he were alive because that was the most beloved animal that she could remember from her past.
Even though she was still able to listen well and wanted to be a part of the conversations we were having, it was challenging due to her short-term memory. I found myself having to practice a good amount of patience, compassion, and kindness. I had to reach into my parenting toolbox so that I could use the tools I learned to make this experience more manageable for us both.
When getting her ready for the day, I would lay out two to three different shirt options so she could pick which one she felt best would suit her day and mood. I noticed that most of the time she would pick a brighter colored shirt because she wanted to feel happy. When lunch and dinner time came around, I would give options as to what she wanted to eat. I began to realize that she didn’t really care what she ate, as long as I was eating with her and keeping her company during the meal. But I was still giving her the power to choose and allowing her to have some independence…
