Listening to a Concerned Child
There was a story I heard about a little girl whose dad used to work late. He came home one night; the little girl wanted some dessert upon his arrival. The dad asked if she had eaten all her dinner first. The little girl replied in her sweet voice “Yes!” feeling very proud of herself. The dad then asked, “Are you lying to me?”. The little girl then replied in her same sweet voice “Yes!”.
That is an amazing aspect of our young children. They are still so innocent, full of life, and trusting to others, especially their mom and dad. Honesty is a trait and skill they inherently have. This is why it is important to listen to our children when they come to us with something that might be concerning to them. Whether it is with a friend, a teacher, a problem at school, a babysitter, how they are feeling that day physically, or even with a family member; we need to take the time to listen to them and to show our mutual concern and respect for what that child is feeling and/or sharing.
Often times when we adults get caught up in our daily schedules and routines it becomes passe to hear a child when they share something with us. It might get lost in the completion of a task, or it may come up at an inconvenient time where we don’t truly hear what is being said. Or, when we DO hear what the child is telling us, we may not know how to respond based on the information they share.
Even if we do not know what to say right away, it is important that the child knows that they have been seen and heard. If you are able to, ask questions about what they are telling you to try to get as much information as possible without the element of interrogation. Be sure to remain calm so that you are not alarming the child and thank them for feeling comfortable enough to come to you with how they are feeling. We never want to discount what they say or diminish the importance the child has placed on what they are feeling or have experienced…
